1) Give me a pairing.
2) Give me an AU setting.
3) I will write you a three-sentence fic.
sometimes I like to sit and think man i wish i was an otter
Queen Hatshepsut of Ancient Egypt. She has a lovely smile for someone who’s been dead for thousands of years.
she wasn’t a queen. she was a pharaoh and wanted to be referred to as such. she even had her statues modeled after the male pharaoh’s statues to state her dominance and authority. she was actually one of the most successful pharaohs in all of ancient egyptian history and she reigned longer than any other woman in power in egypt.
damn no wonder she died and smiled for a trillion years afterwards
The fact that we know about her is marvelous.
the next Pharaoh after her Tuthmosis III tried to erase Hatshepsut out of history ,chiseled her name off her monuments ,covered the text on her obelisks with stone,knocked down and defaced her statues .
she was even left off the list of pharaohs ..talk about some patriarchy bullshit
her name was lost for a couple of millennia, her body was found in a unmarked grave in early twentieth century
sad part is in Egyptian belief is if your are forgotten in the living world you don’t exist in the afterlife,so he was trying to kill her even in death
My best friend throwing down some herstory. A+ commentary
She wore a fake beard, you guys.
She was the fucking boss.
If we remember her now does that save her from an awful afterlife?
I’m just picturing the Kemetic afterlife. All the Pharaohs are hanging out in some kind of swanky club, drinking and congratulating each other on being bros.
The doors slam open and Hatshepsut strides in, glorious, robes swirling, rocking the fake beard and the insane amounts of wealth and power. “Miss me, bitches?”
THEY ARE TRYING TO TAKE THE ENDANGERED SPECIES ACT DOWN
AND REPLACE IT WITH THE BULLSHIT ENDANGERED SPECIES MANAGEMENT SELF-DETERMINATION ACT
THAT ALLOWS STATES TO DECIDE IF THEY EVEN WANT TO ABIDE BY LAWS PROTECTING SPECIES AT ALL
AND DELISTS SPECIES AFTER ONLY FIVE YEARS
DOES ANYONE ELSE EVEN CARE
better question; how do we stop this?
hyenas, terrifying and excellently organized predators of the savannah
also surprisingly docile and like neck scritches and have a tail chasing compulsion
if you don’t think hyenas are great then you’re objectively wrong
Aaaahhh, I love hyenas. :D
Hyenas: Always getting a bad rap because lions are jerks. Lions actually steal from hyenas most of the time because hyenas are the better predators — but they’re also very skittish when faced with a giant pride of cats. Adorable babies!
Okay, lemme tell you about spotted hyenas, aka the BAMFiest BAMFs in the animal kingdom.
- Their societies are entirely female-dominated. Female hyenas are larger and stronger than males and have higher social status in clan hierarchy - even the lowest-ranking female in a hyena clan is higher up the social ladder than the highest-ranking male. They’re basically the Amazons of the animal world. The females even have false penis-like appendages (which are essentially large clitorises), which led the ancient Greeks to think that hyenas were hermaphrodites. Because fuck your narrow human perceptions of sex and gender roles, that’s why.
- They are considered the dominant predators of the African savannah, despite not being the largest or strongest, because they are the most successful hunters. Their hunting success rate is estimated to be about 70-80%, meaning that they catch about 70-80% of prey they pursue - a freakishly high statistic (to compare, the success rate of lions and wolves is about 20-30%). They also scavenge much less than lions do, as whowasntthere said, and are incredibly adaptable and opportunistic predators, meaning that they are also the most common and widespread of the large African carnivores. That’s not too bad for an animal typecast as a lazy scavenger.
- Their jaws are some of the strongest in the animal kingdom, stronger than those of lions, tigers, wolves or perhaps bears, and can crush elephant and giraffe bones; hyenas are also able to digest all bone matter. Don’t tell me that’s not metal as fuck.
- Despite looking like dogs, they are not part of the dog family and are actually more closely related to cats. Because fuck your logic. Nature does what it wants.
- They are incredibly intelligent. They are easily as intelligent as primates and some scientists claim that their intelligence may even rival that of the great apes, which would make them among the most intelligent animals in the world. Hyenas even outperform chimpanzees on some tests, which is pretty damn awesome, considering that chimpanzees are our closest relatives and all.
So yeah, basically hyenas are awesome and badass as well as truly fascinating animals and if you don’t have at least a bit of respect for them you’re wrong.
*cough* saxifraga-x-urbium *cough*
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST
it probably seems like i cry over stupid shit but tbh i usually end up crying because i’ve stored up all of my upset feelings from multiple things rather than express them and then the littlest thing sets me off like spilling my drink may not be that big of a deal but when i’ve stored up that many negative emotions it feels like i busted a hole in the hoover dam